Sunday, May 11, 2008

Who's Afraid Of The Grim Reaper

Read an article in Reader's Digest titled "Who's Afraid Of The Grim Reaper". Here it is, copyright of Reader's Digest, May 2008:

Call it counterintuitive, but a new study published in Psychological Science has found that thoughts of death can make people happier, not sadder. In a series of experiments involving 432 volunteers, people asked to think about their death were much more likely to choose uplifting words like "joy" in word tests than those asked to think about (other) unpleasant events, such as a trip to the dentist.

Researchers say we have a kind of "psychological immune response" to death, making us more emotionally resilient than we think possible.

Study co-author Dr Nathan DeWall of the University of Kentucky says that one response to the threatening idea of death is the non-conscious search for emotionally pleasant information.

"Clutching at happy thoughts may prevent the conscious mind from being paralysed by terror," he says.

Seems that I'm a happy person. I have always been fascinated by death, not because of the termination of life. I realized that death is like rewinding your life back to where it started for people around you. When you die, people start thinking of all those things you have done for them, all those moments you have spent with them, all those presents and gifts you gave and all those unforgettable experiences you had together. I have written about my fascination for death in my previous blog. Will post it here again since this is going to be my permanent one (I hope...).

Many a times friends will ask me,"How come you're so fascinated by Death? Ain't you afraid to die?" I seldom reply them, just giving them a smile to quit the topic. But now I will pen down why I am fascinated by Death and whether I am afraid to die.

Death to me is even more meaningful than Life. You will ask me,"Why? Death is the end of the road. So why is it more meaningful?" Imagine this: You're sitting for your final paper for your graduation exam. Your palms are sweating and you're intensely nervous. You're frantically trying to recollect whatever you had studied earlier. Throughout the paper, your concentration is the peak and your focus is at the maximum. At the end of the paper, what is the first thing you will do? Most of you will want to go enjoy yourself immediately to celebrate. And while partying for the next few weeks or months, you await your results anxiously. The big day came and you get to see your results. Distinction. You get a First Class Honours. Happy?

The real dissection begins here. See? A simple example of why Death is more meaningful than Life. Still don't get it? Ok, I mince it up a little more detailed. Death is the result of your Life. While you are living your Life, you are seldom aware of what's going on. People don't remember the good things you did for them. People don't remember when you've learnt them your notes when they've missed the lessons. People don't remember when you call them to wish them speedy recovery from an accident. People don't remember you lending them a shoulder to cry on when they're down. But they will remember it all when your Death arrives. At your funeral, these people will remember the last diner you had with them. They will remember how you tease them during your primary school days. They will remember how you gave them words of comfort when their parents passed away. They will remember the exact amount you lend them when they're so broke to barely afford a proper meal. This is the power of Death.

Using Life to talk about life is all too familiar, stagnant and typical. We're too comfortable with Life that it's become too 'normal' to us. No impact. No dynamism. Using Death to talk about life is all the more meaningful. Because you get results at the end, not the beginning. The impact of Death on life is there. BANG! You get the picture. Most of us are only concerned about the results. We don't bother about how to get the results. Hailing a cab, I just want to get to my destination in the shortest time. Do you even care how the cab driver drives to your destination? (You're smiling now because you know it's true...) Does a mother care about the difficulties she has to go through to bear a child? No. She only wants to see the child being born into this world safe and sound.

Death is a summary of how you live your life. It is the portal for you to see how you have influenced the lives of other people. It is also the portal for you to see who is truly grateful to you for the smallest things that you have done for them. While you're alive, you never really know how grateful these people are to you because we take 'live' people around us for granted. We don't treasure their presence when they are around. But we cry so hard til we vomit when these people depart from the face of Earth. I have seen Death too many times to come to know all these. I'm not saying I'm very experienced or whatsoever. I just want to make my point here that ironically, it's only through Death that we see kinship, true friendship, brotherhood, sisterhood, gratitude, forgiveness, apologies, remorsefulness, regret, self-blaming and many more emotions. Does Life bring all these emotions out instantaneously? Not that impactful as Death.

So here, I have once and for all explained why I am so fascinated by Death. The vast array of emotions, feelings and lost that comes with Death is so powerful that it can cover years after years of living in a matter of seconds. I just hope that we can take Death as a lesson to learn what is important to us in our lives and to make sure we have a 'good' result at the beginning of the end. And one last thing: I ain't afraid to die when I am done with my life.


"As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death." Leonardo da Vinci

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